![]() Book name: The Missing Wife Author: Sheila O'Flanagan Genre: Fiction, Mystery Goodreads: <Link> Storygraph: <Link> While at first brush, the novel maybe dismissed as a typical 'airport novel' which has some typical tropes you would expect from such a novel in terms of a protagonist with a mysterious past set in an idyllic location with some potential romance thrown in the mix, 'The Missing Wife' by Sheila O'Flannagan touches on a non standard topic for such a novel. The content of the book was interesting in that it dealt with a toxic relationship between the protagonist; Imogen who at the opening of the novel is on the run from her abusive husband; Vince where the nature of the abuse was mental rather than physical and the book highlights that this can be as or even more dangerous as physical abuse. It was interesting to see how something that at first seems like reasonable or an endearing quirk such as being overly particular about being organized and methodical can when taken to an extreme become a form of abuse. The author seems to have done her research well in terms of the depiction of the mental abuse faced by the characters which feels very authentic and believable. The novel is also structured in a very engaging way as early on in the novel you are left guessing as to the real motives as to why Imogen has left and the mysterious past that she hints at. The author has made a good choice to present it from the perspective of a 3rd person narration which allows for there to be some uncertainty and mystery to the developments that are taking place while also offering some insights into the mindset of both Imogen and Vince. The novel is set in a picturesque part of France and is very atmospheric. This has complemented by a a really great ensemble of colourful characters that range from a hospital attendant who doubles up as the apartment handyman, a pair of helpful Australian twins and a flirtatious real estate manager as well as characters from Imogen's past just to name a few. There are also not just added for embellishment but places an active part in the plot development by becoming Imogen's allies which ties into the way Imogen is able to escape from the nature of the abuse she faced where she was being isolated by her abuser and made to depend solely on him. It was also funny how Vince in his attempts to find his missing wife was being thwarted by his own miserliness and need to exert control! It is also interesting that the novel also uses the cast of characters to presents a more healthier model of a similar type of relationship that is taking place between two characters Imogen encounters who while they have their own issues, the relationship they have is presented in a much more constructive manner. One slight weakness of the book might be that it is leaning very heavily into stereotypes such as the French being very romantic, Person working in life Insurance is being very methodical and conscious of money. But this might be because its playing into the more romance aspect of the novel which the novel is constantly teasing with its cast of characters. Given this, I felt the novel could have ended on a slightly different note or included a short epilogue to highlight the transformation Imogen has gone through over the course of the novel Overall was a surprisingly enjoyable book and would recommend it for a casual read.
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![]() Book name: Delusions of Gender Author: Cordelia Fine Genre: Non Fiction Goodreads: Link Storygraph: Link "The gender inequality that you see is in your mind. So are the cultural beliefs about gender that are so familiar to us all. They are in that messy tangle of mental associations that interact with the social context. Out of this interaction emerges your self-perception, your interests, your values, your behaviour, even your abilities" This relatively short book by Cordelia Fine is a very readable and approachable book that draws on various studies and examples to delve into the relationships between gender, neuroscience and the wider society that reinforces gender stereotypes and attitudes. In very broad terms, the book highlights that in the case of females, the gender biases created has very real consequences in terms of job roles and opportunities and pay gaps while in the case of males it leads to pressures in terms of expectations of their role as an individual and in the family which informs job roles and attitudes. Even though the book draws heavily from Psychology with many different studies being quoted, the book is written like a primer on the topic and is quite accessible for even someone like myself who is not familiar with the details of psychology and sociology studies. The first part of the book which looks at how gender stereotypes are formed in our society was was very insightful and it brought to my notice some aspects of where these stereotypes can occur which I hadn't considered before. The role of Stereotypes in job roles and the gendering of toys and the popular media and their impact on children's attitude was something I found particular interesting. The Role of Stereotypes in job roles ‘personality traits that are typical of a given profession often are mistakenly thought to be necessary to the practice of the profession.’ One aspect of the book I found very eye opening was about stereotypes about job roles which have been created such as the 'Geek factor' when it comes to STEM jobs can lead to gender imbalances in certain career roles. The book discusses the harmful aspects of this for both genders where in the In the case of females, this has very real implications when it comes to shutting them out of opportunities in the workplace leading to a lack of representation and gender pay gaps. In the case of males the book highlighted that it was sometimes actually a struggle for men to stay in the more-feminine roles that they preferred due to powerful gender stereotypes built into certain job categories. Some of the points came up during our book club discussion was that in the case of Sri Lanka, a number of these seem to be due to outdated labour laws and cultural norms that have influenced these stereotypes. One interesting example that was brought up during our book club discussion was even how norms about the workplace dress code can affect your career progression. In the case of males as well, these stereotypes create pressures for certain expected patterns of behaviour which are in no way relevant job role and is something I have experienced myself in the past. Neurosexism: Gender vs the Minds "What we experience and do creates neural activity that can alter the brain, either directly or through changes in gene expression. This neuroplasticity means that, as Kaiser puts it, the social phenomenon of gender ‘comes into the brain’ and ‘becomes part of our cerebral biology’." The second part of the book I found a bit more challenging to read, as my knowledge of biology was very limited. However, an interesting point that was brought up was that even though society particularly in more developed countries has shifted towards a more science based approach for the organization of society, in the face of such gender stereotyping that is taking place, people fall back to arguments that its to do with biology which the book demonstrates is in no way valid arguments. The book cites where even educated parents who are keen to raise their children in a gender neutral role fall into this trap. This discussion also ties very nicely with the final part of the book where the implications of this was demonstrated in terms of parents raising children and the near impossibility of bringing up children in a gender neutral environment. Gendered toys and pop culture and their impact on Children "In the young child’s world, gender is the social category that stands out above all others, right from the start. Conventions of clothing and accessories mean that gender is extremely obvious visually, and boys and girls may be regularly labelled and organised by gender, especially in early education settings." The other aspect I found really interesting was about how these gender norms impact children's attitudes towards gender and seems nearly impossible to break out of. The influence seems to start even before the children are born where the author cites studies about how knowledge of the child's sex seems to have an impact on the parents interaction with the child. Once they are born there is a strong need felt amongst children to categorize everything based on gender which is reinforced by the society and popular media as that is the key identifying factor that the children relate to. The author highlights that this is because as is the case with adults, the sense of belonging to a group/community is quite important and in the case of children, gender is the most visible expression of community as they maybe unable to at a young age to form more complex identities along ethnic, beliefs and religious lines which they would develop later. As a result of this inherent trend, the response of economic forces is to create heavily gendered products which has led to trends such as the 'Pink princess trend' becoming so ubiquitous that attempting to break out of it seems to be almost a Sisyphus endeavor as highlighted by some of the examples highlighted in the book of how parents went to great lengths to raise their children in a gender neutral way. As a fan of Lego's this is something I have personally experienced with the extreme gendering of Lego play sets to the point that Lego's aimed at 'Males' almost exclusively contain Male mini figures despite having themes such as Lego sets depicting varied job roles such as Firefighters, Police Personnel, Rescue workers etc where there is no call for gendering of it. In contrast, the very limited Lego sets aimed at 'Females' seem to have a more mixed gender which is something I was drawn to despite them having very limited variety in their themes where almost none of them had a career oriented focus. "Cross-gender behaviour is seen as less acceptable in boys than it is in girls: unlike the term ‘tomboy’ there is nothing positive implied by its male counterpart, the ‘sissy’." Relating to this point, another aspect that was brought up in the book is that its mostly females who do the crossing of gender boundaries and hence there is no male characters in the popular culture for Males to aspire to for those who buck gender norms. Even in the context of the current mainstream pop culture where the need for greater gender balance and diversity is being embraced, this is an aspect that seems to be still underrepresented and hence leads to the reinforcement of certain gender norms. Recommendation One shortcoming of the book is that the book doesn't go beyond the gender binary and does not really delve into the intersectionality of gender with other aspects such as the role religion, race, culture plays in affecting gender norms. This might have been a deliberate choice made by the author in order to keep the book more general and have a more universal appeal while also muddying some of the arguments which may deviate from the main message of the author which is that any perceived differences between the genders is not justified and non existent. Another aspect the book does touch on is the role the society plays in creating and reinforcing gender norms and this is mainly written from a western perspective with many of the studies highlighted in the book being drawn from U.S sources. Hence things such as consumerist culture, Scientific rationale and individual choices are given more emphasis than factors such as the role of the family, religion etc that might also have a dominant role in other societies. Despite this, overall the author managed to deliver some very insightful points on the topic in a readable and interesting way that is very accessible to someone not from a psych/sociology background and would highly recommend the book. The book ends with a hopeful note that given that the broad basis for a lot of these gender difference is due to societal attitudes and perception created in our mind which malleable, this offers some hope for the future. Our minds, society and neurosexism create difference. Together, they wire gender. But the wiring is soft, not hard. It is flexible, malleable and changeable. And, if we only believe this, it will continue to unravel. |
AuthorAvid reader of Historical fiction, High fantasy novels, Comics & Graphic Novels. Passionate about teaching & the future of education in general. Categories
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